Before we start, I’m just going to say this. As you read this blog, you’re going to find that I am, put bluntly, a Pokemon nut. You know their tagline? “Gotta Catch ’em All!”. Well, I caught ’em all.
Recently, a new Pokemon movie was released in theaters. This would be the first one since the third movie (we are now into the double digits). And it would only be in theaters for one weekend. So, I couldn’t possibly pass up the chance to go see it, even though I know that Pokemon movies tend to be disappointing. So, I loaded up my girlfriend and bought our tickets. We walked into the near-empty theater and waited patiently for the movie to start.
And I have to say, had the girlfriend not been there to hate it with me, the whole day would have been a waste. Pokemon the Movie White: Victini and Zekrom… was bad.
Allow me to clarify. In Japan, two Pokemon movies were released at the same time: this one, and Pokemon the Movie Black: Victini and Reshiram. Here, they decided to release White in theaters for a weekend and then air Black on Cartoon Network the next weekend. I’ll review Black as soon as I see it.
That said, the best part of Victini and Zekrom was the child in the theater loudly naming every Pokemon that appeared on screen. That and the fact that there was something called the Dragon Force. I couldn’t help but laugh every time it was mentioned.
“What’s the Dragon Force?” It’s a shitty metal band that inexplicably got famous simply because they can play a guitar really fast.
The biggest problem (besides everything) was the plot… Or lack thereof. At first, it seems there’s going to be something interesting happening, but then it doesn’t. Up until the last half hour or so nothing happens. There’s no conflict or plot development. It’s just, “Aww! Look at how cute Victini is being! Let’s focus on this for the next hour.” And when something finally does happen, it’s so lackluster and you’re so bored and gone, that it doesn’t even matter.
I can’t believe I’m making this comparison, but I’m sort of reminded of Michael Bay’s Transformers bullshit. Here, we have Reshiram and Zekrom, two creatures so powerful that they can create a whole continent battling each other. But instead of paying attention to that, we’re focusing on Victini eating macaroons (that’s not a joke). By the time you actually get to see the battle, it only lasts about a minute, and by that time, you’re only wishing the movie was over. It’s especially weird, because Zekrom is a title character. But he has less screentime than any other speaking part in the whole movie. And that includes Team Rocket.
Speaking of which, why was Team Rocket in the movie at all? They show up on-screen only about three times at about forty seconds each. In that time, they don’t do anything! Not one thing. They talk to each other a little, but that’s it. They don’t take out any Pokemon. They don’t plot anything villainous. Hell, they don’t even interact with any other characters! No joke. The only people that the members of Team Rocket interact with are the other members of Team Rocket. Why were they included at all!?
Also, every time Cilan talked, I wanted to hit him. I haven’t been able to keep up with the show, but I had no idea there was a character quite that bad.
Those are the big complaints. Aside from those, there are only a few small things to complain about.
The acting is… well, bad. But it’s a Pokemon movie. You can’t expect too much from that.
The few battles included in the movie are all really stupid. Especially if you enjoy playing the games and see all of the problems with them. I’m sorry, no Pikachu can beat a Serperior. And type-advantage or not, an Oshawott will not beat an Emboar. And do you know what Victini’s Ability does? It raises your Pokemons’ Accuracy in Double and Triple Battles. It does not, however, make a Scraggy so powerful that it can beat a Hydreigon with a Headbutt. The show and movies have always been bad about stupid shit like that, but this seemed especially annoying to me.
Is there anything good to say about the movie?
The animation and special effects are okay… That’s honestly all I have to say about that.
That’s about it.
So, if you’re some kind of Pokemon completionist, then I suppose you should see it. Besides that, it’s probably be best to avoid it like Pokerus.
And yes, I know that Pokerus is beneficial.